Glowsquid

From Userpedia

(Redirected from Gofer)
Jump to: navigation, search

“I may be 99% jerk.
But your 100% stupid jerk :|”

Uniju, making a very accurate assessment

“Blitzwind is officially the MarioWikian version of the Nostalgia Critic.”
Crypt Raider


Blitzwing.
Blitzwing.

Glowsquid (previously known as Gofer, Glowsquid then Blitzwing) is guy who did things.

Contents

TRUE History

Glowsquid was an immortal super soldier in the space nebula, he killed his creator because that's what all cool artificial monsters do! Glowsquid had special power, he could control fire and wind! Many creatures were jealous of that so they didn't like him and made him sad. He killed those too!

Later, he joined a powerful place know as the Mario wiki and did things like creating his own kingdom. However, Lord Protectorate Unidus despised his abusive crossing of the border and declared war! It was futile, because Glowsquid was invincible...

Or so he thought. A special Shift commando force ambushed him and threw him into a fusion reactor. The ensuing cerebral damages left him as little more than an incoherent, babbling wreck.

Imaginary Nonsense

Glowsquid joined the MarioWiki forum under the name Gofer after someone made an insulting post in French. Because everyone needs to know what "Osti de Tabarnak" means.

Glowsquid later registered on the actual wiki. His most notable action was to oppose the nomination of 3Dejong as a sysop, which caused him to be harassed by Max2 and Fg.

Glowsquid then registered on Userpedia, where he proceeded to improve with brilliants concept such as the "Gopherian Empire" and a story with thrilling plot points like users going to Wikipedia and beating up the Angry Video Game nerd, a story which THANKFULLY NEVER HAPPENED.

Later, in his user life, Gofer changed his name to "Glowsquid" because oh my god, did that name sucks.

After that, Glowsquid registered on the Scribblewiki incarnation of Userpedia and promptly popularized the concept of making "funny" articles "styled" on the Transformers wiki, after he rewrote his article with brilliant lines like "[Opposing 3Dejong's sysop nomination] was the Mariowiki equivalent of going to a church on sunday and screaming that god sucks".

Hah-ah-ha

Other then that, he trashtalked a few users he didn't like and complained about everything.

Then, Glowsquid changed his name to "Blitzwing" because of an hormone-fueled Transformers craze. After Glowsquid made an ironic comment asking to be promoted, RAP promoted him to Patroller. After that, the patroller ranking was phased out and Glowsquid was promoted to Sysop.

Sometimes after, Glowsquid participated in the "Director Election" of The 'Shroom. He won, but his pathetic handling of the newspaper nearly caused it to be removed of the wiki.

Glowsquid later requested to have his sysop powers removed. He can still sometimes be found trash-talking users behind their back.

After a few months, he changed his name back to "Glowsquid".

Personality

As Gofer, he was an idiot.

As Glowsquid, he was still an idiot.

As Blitzwing, he's still an idiot with the POWER OF SPELL CHECK. He likes harassing other users (in a familly friendly way, of course), quoting tepid meme and acting on instinct. He truly is a child of the internet generation.

Power and abilities

Glowsquid can convert oxygen into a source of energy, he is able to use his muscles to produce sound, and coordinate his limbs to create movements.


Image:Shroombull.png Directors of The 'Shroom Image:Shroombull.png
Director of The 'Shroom
HK-47 · Wayoshi · Sadaharu · Plumber · Blitzwing · Stooben Rooben · Tucayo · Stooben Rooben · Tucayo · Stooben Rooben
Sub-director of The 'Shroom
Garlic Man · Tucayo · Stooben Rooben · Tucayo · Stooben Rooben · Tucayo
Editor-in-Chief of The 'Shroom
HK-47 · Plumber · Xzelion · Beanbean · Yoshario · Ralphfan · Twentytwofiftyseven
Director of the Fake News Team
WarioLoaf · Confused · Xzelion · 3Dejong · Stooben Rooben · Xzelion · Stooben Rooben · 3Dejong · Stooben Rooben · Glitchman · Xpike · Xpike & Ralphfan · Ralphfan · Super Mario Bros. · Ralphfan
Director of the Fun Stuff Team
Z3r0 Tw0
Director of the Music & Artwork Team
Super Mario Bros. · Super Mario Bros. & YellowYoshi127 · YellowYoshi127 & Paper Pikachu · Paper Pikachu · Paper Pikachu & Super Mario Bros.
Director of the Pipe Plaza
Super Mario Bros. · Super Mario Bros. & Marioguy1