User:My Bloody Valentine/Article
From Userpedia
“Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage”
—My Bloody Valentine
| My Bloody Valentine | |
 MBV likes to think he looks like this. | |
| Member of: | Uniju Wiki, and damn proud of it |
| Rank | Userpedia: User, Troll Uniju Wiki: Worthless Lackey, Uniju's Bitch |
| Gender | (Fe)Male |
| Allies | REAL MEN HAVE NO FRIENDS! |
| Enemies | Go die, RAP. No one likes you. |
| Relatives | The idiots who dare be related to me;
|
| Likes | Sex, lolis, little girls, lolicon, flat chests, etc. |
| Dislikes | Plenty of things. |
| Theme(s) | Black Hole Sun -- Soundgarden |
| Aliases | Depressed grunge kid, Jesus Christ, Mr. Roboto, Killroy, Marilyn Manson, Black Asshole Sun (tho he prefers just "Asshole Sun", since the aforementioned name implies he has cancer on his ass. And no one likes having cancer on their ass.), idiot, Easter Bunny, The User formerly known as Black Hole Sun, hypocrite, Uniju the second, emo audiophile, Black Hole-sensei, Bulaku Holu Sun-san, Ziggy Stardust, Only Shallow, lolicon freak, emo pedophile commie, fanboy, catgirl, Pavement |
| Age | What's my age again? |
| Personal information | Cuz there isn't a "groups" section.
|
My Bloody Valentine (previously known as Black Hole Sun and Pokemon DP, more previously known as Guy with girlfriend), is a user that everybody hates and unless you're Uniju or Moofle, he is more badass than you could ever hope to be.
Contents |
History
"This is the greatest and best song in the world. Tribute.
A long time ago, me and my brother Stumpers here, we was hitchhiking down a long and lonesome road. All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon in the middle of the road. AND HE SAID!
“Play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your souls”
—Shiny Demon
Well, me and Stumpers, we looked at each other. And we each said!
“Okay”
—Me and Stumpers
And we played the first song that came to our heads, just so happened to be the best song in the world! It was the best song in the world! Look into my eyes and it's easy to see one and one makes two, two and one makes three, it was destiny! Once every hundred-thousand years or so, when the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow, and the grass doth groooow.
Needless to say, the beast was stunned. WHIP-CRACK went his whippy tail! And the beast was done. He asked us,
“Be you angels?”
—Shiny Demon
And we said,
“Nay. We are but men!”
—Me and Stumpers
Rock.
AAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, OHHHHH, WHOA, A-YO!
This is not the greatest song in the world, no. This is just a tribute! Couldn't remember the greatest song in the world, yeah ~ NO! This is a tribute! To the greatest song in the world, alright! It was the greatest song in the world, alright! This is the best motherfucking song in the world, the greatest song in the world oh!
“*gibberish*”
—Me and Stumpers
And the peculiar thing is this, my friends; The song we sang on that fateful night, it didn't actually sound anything LIKE THIS SONG!
This is just a tribute, you gotta believe me! And I wish you were there, just a matter of opinion. Ahahahahaha, FUCK! Good God, gotta love him! I'm so surprised to find you can't stop him!
“*gibberish*, motherfucker!”
—Me and Stumpers
Alright! Alright!"
Anyway, DP joined the Wiki on May 24th, 2007, and did stuff to be promoted to Patroller and Sysop before abusing his powers to protect his girlfriend at the time. He then left the Wiki (very smart move), returned to Userpedia (...what?), trolled a bunch of users, made this article, got into countless edit wars and arguments, then stopped caring.
Personality
“HEY! WAIT! I'VE GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! Forever in dept to your priceless advice!”
—My Bloody Valentine
There's no way around it; My Bloody Valentine is a "walking mood swing", to quote bad video games. But that puts him on par with Ozzy Osbourne and Kurt Cobain, how awesome is that?!
There was really only one way to describe MBV's initial behavoir when he first joined the Wiki; Bakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabaka. He was a noob and total moron, but at least he improved unlike certain other users. MBV then decided to be sarcastic for a bit which didn't work out very well for him, so then he decided to be all prissy and pansy ass like most of the idiots on the Wiki, but this time he returned with added RANDOMNESS. Oh god, I don't even want to talk about that phase...
SO MOVING ON, MBV then became an emotion-driven diplomat that did a godawful job at keeping the peace in chat and on the wiki before he FINALLY abused his power to protect his bisexual girlfriend Purple Yoshi, which OH GOD was simply embarrasing. So porplemontage demoted MBV - and Super-Yoshi, for some reason - on chat, which lead to MBV's inevitable retirement from being a sysop, and his eventual disappearance from the Wiki. In retrospect, this was the smartest move MBV ever made... Too bad it lasted little over two months.
Anyway, MBV then came back to Userpedia for reasons even MBV doesn't know. Here he showed his true colors; Read above quote... What, there's nothing that details his 'true colors'? Surely you jest! Now everyone hates him and stuff. A wise man (i.e. Bulaku Holu-sensei) once said that MBV suffered major depressive disorder, but as stated at the beginning of this terrible excuse for an article section, he may actually have bipolar disorder instead.
MBV also appears to be a very subtle Yandere. Ungi eventually realized MBV's yandereness, and is to this date the only one who knows it, but because everyone hates him for no good reason at all, they don't believe him. To make sure BHS doesn't harm anyone, Ungi tricked MBV into walking straight into an insane asylum, where he still resides even to this day. His legacy has been carried on by his kawaii girlfriend Misao Kusakabe, who ISN'T a yandere by the way, but tries to behave like the non-insane MBV as much as possible.
So kawaii.
Also, he's NOT an emo. DAMMIT JORGE!
MBV also has Arachnophobia. According to Guiliant, he is not a user at all, but rather, a video game. In works of fiction, he is voiced by Liam Neeson.
Religion
“Your god is dead and no one cares. If there is a hell, I'll see you there.”
—My Bloody Valentine
My Bloody Valentine originally identified himself as a moronic Christian extremist, but soon realized that he was being brainwashed and since threw away the title. He's not exactly sure if there's a God or not anymore, but it's highly likely there is none. I also feel it necessary to bring up; Where did we come from? I mean really, think about it, the big bang couldn't have happened since an enormous world-creating explosion like that can't happen out of nowhere. Likewise, evolution can't possibly exist, since it would need a beginning; Where did the first creature come from? Nothing can come from nothing. Whenever Christians use that against believers of evolution, they are giving them the perfect comeback; Where the fuck did God come from? You really expect me to believe God came from nothing? If you believe that, you can't rule out the possibility that the big bang and evolution happened, but obviously, they couldn't have happened, nor could God have ever existed. So...
WE SHOULDN'T EVEN EXIST! Nothing in this world should exist! Weird. I predict science will find the answer in at least 1001 years. If they don't find the answer of where we came from by then, then all life is meaningless and we should all go kill ourselves. But science won't let us down; It's never failed us before, right? ...Right?!
Not long after throwing away his religious beliefs, he became a badass Kaminaist, alongside ShyGuy27, Uniju, and Master Lucario. He also really, REALLY hates Scientology; Seriously, aliens?! The fuck is wrong with you people?!
He also sold his soul for rock n' roll, but you didn't hear that from me.
Politics
“Whenever the Republicans make it to the White House, they may ask themselves "Well, how did we get here?"
In reaction, the American people may say to themselves "This is not my beautiful country!"
And they may say to themselves "My god, what have we done?"”
—My Bloody Valentine
Politics are shit. Everyone involved in it are total morons who have no idea what they're doing. The Republicans in particular have no idea what they are doing, and are most definitely the most idiotic people in existance. As such, they are the perfect scapegoat whenever something goes wrong, since the Republicans are the cause of everything bad in our society, alongside brothers.
yay communism
But anyway, all in all, politics are shit.
Music
“It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll!”
—My Bloody Valentine
If you don't know that My Bloody Valentine is practically in love with music, then just crawl back under your rock and never come out again.
Love Life
“LOLICON IS NOT A CRIME!”
—My Bloody Valentine, Xephyr Board
My Bloody Valentine is very notorious for his pathetic love life, being the one to first confess an internet crush to someone - i.e. Purple Yoshi, which began the barrage of losers telling random wiki freaks that they love them, which has been the main source of drama and corruption on the wiki. He eventually became SMART and realized internet crushes are just plain retarded, and as such, dumped PY, who is now in love with Haruhi Suzumiya which is HOT.
In recent years, he's since fallen in love with girls such as Presea Combatir, and more recently, Misao Kusakabe. To this end, he has a lolita complex (despite the aforementioned girls actually being over the age of consent), and is very vocal in stating that lolicon is not a crime, which it isn't. Remember kids, BHS is a very nice guy and you should get in his car, post haste.
Anyone who says they don't like lolis is just kidding themselves.
His most recent love interest is his hot cousin. No, seriously.
What Others Think of My Bloody Valentine
RadioheadRadioheadRadioheadRadioheadRadioheadRadiohead Scarecrow von Steuben
I think BHS is a pretty cool guy eh breaks rules and doesn't afraid of anything Master Lucario
Forget Tabuu, I'm in love with BHS who is much more badass and attractive and stuff Grapes
bhs is sexeh Master Crash
SEIZURES! TehDman
HE'S DEFINITELY MORE WORHTY OF BEING GRAPES' BOYFRIEND THAN I AM SO I'LL JUST GO MAKE OUT WITH METAL GEAR KTHANKSBYETabuuownsall132x2
Blahblahblah The Blue Dragon
BHS is as cool as 19, 19, 1985! -Brayds2006
He's a guy -Glaive
BRUTALITY! GUTS! BLOOOOOOOOD! Vicarious
I'M A FUCKING RETARD WITH NO LIFE Kingbowser99
- PIXIES! SvS
My Bloody Valentine note: I couldn't come up with something for this kid SonicMario(T|C|E)
Abilities
“More human than human!”
—My Bloody Valentine
| My Bloody Valentine | ||
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My Bloody Valentine is a normal guy with no real special abilities. But he does have something called "Badass powers" gained from his God Kamina, something shared with fellow Kaminaists ShyGuy27 and Uniju. Anyone in possession of badass power automatically becomes a god-like being with a 100% in all statistics (see chart on the right). As such, MBV and his cohorts are immortal, but not omnipotent like their creators, Kamina, Phoenix Wright, and Haruhi Suzumiya.
In Master Wikians, MBV gained superpowers from the meteor that hit the Wiki. This gave him Super Speed, and also made MBV talk incredibly fast.
Relationships
“But I'm the only one who matters”
—My Bloody Valentine, Xephyr Board
Stooben Rooben
“Aw I love you too, sweetie!”
—My Bloody Valentine about Stooben Rooben, Xephyr Board
Paper Jorge
“Jorge was never cool.”
—My Bloody Valentine, Xephyr Board
Not important.
Beanbean
Beanbean loved MBV once then loved Jorge then was cheated on by Jorge and she dumped him and they both went emo and I don't know what happened to her after that but I'm hoping she became a stripper. Where's your holy God now, huh? Where's your holy God now?!
Purple Yoshi
“I want to fuck you like an animal”
—My Bloody Valentine not talking about Purple Yoshi, Xephyr Board
MBV was the first person to realize PY's love-obsession with Haruhi Suzumiya since she keeps saying stupid things on the Xephyr Board which lead MBV to post a picture of Haruhi staring at her angrily, which is just plain HOT.
Uniju
“i'm sorry uni-sama
it's ok as long as you understand”
—A normal conversation between My Bloody Valentine and Uniju, Xephyr Board
Fear us! We will murder every last one of you! Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition! It's OK as long as you understand.
Xzelion
He was a cool alien pretzel but then I got hungry so I ate him he retired.
Stumpers
God I miss Stumpers...
Shyguy27
“Badass 'brothers' like Kamina and Simon.”
—My Bloody Valentine about Shyguy27, early on Xephyr Board
“I now officially hate you”
—My Bloody Valentine about Shyguy27, much later on Xephyr Board
STREELIGHT MANIFESTO SUCKS DEAL WITH IT
Grapes
“I want to fuck you like an animal”
—My Bloody Valentine talking about Grapes, Xephyr Board
Grapes is MBV's musical student and ex-girlfriend, tho she always denied the LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE. Some say it was just denial, others say MBV's "love" was merely a joke started by Shyguy when MBV posted the chorus to Cream's "Sunshine of Your Love" right after one of Grapes' comments, and others say MBV went insane. Most people seem to agree with the last one.
SnackServ
“You are very weird, Snackserv Wing”
—My Bloody Valentine, Xephyr Board
SnackServ! ...SnackServ...!
Master Crash
“Shut up I'm always right.”
—My Bloody Valentine, Xephyr Board
Master Crash is always wrong.
Zero Two
“Hi money!”
—My Bloody Valentine about Zero Two, Xephyr Board
He gives me money!
Black Hole Sun
“I want to fuck you like an animal”
—My Bloody Valentine about himself, Xephyr Board
I'm me.
